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The Pain of a Mother!

... her tears are always steady like a river, they drop daily but they are never visible to the human eye, hers are tears of pain, tears of worry, tears of love; unlike you and I, her tears will never be seen dropping down her cheeks, for that would be a sign of worry for everyone, and that, she doesn't want. THE MOTHER!

The pain of a mother is the pain of love. She carries our pain, cries on our behalf, shields us from harm and always watchful of us, no matter the distance of our roof to that of hers. Her protective eye is omnipresent. But what do we reward her with? What do we payback for all her tears and worries? Sadly so, it's more pain, hurt, disrespect and ungrateful attitude.

Her pain of love. On this day, I board a matatu to my resident. The vehicle was already full and the only space left is a small space at the seat just behind the driver's seat. Normally, this seat is designed to accommodate three passengers, on this day I am the fourth passenger, I occupy only a portion of the seat as the rest of my body is outside, obviously a dangerous position but since I am so tired I didn't care so much of the vehicle's overload, besides my mind was kept busy with other worries. Unknown to me, there was a lady at the end seat, who looked at me and obviously knew the danger I was, the elderly lady squeezed herself and urged the rest of the passengers to create more space for me.

After the whole exercise and I comfortably seated she looks at me and inquires "My son, are you comfortable?" to which I reply "Yes mum" she then flushes a motherly smile and says "I was so uncomfortable with your sitting position, I was so worried that any minute you were going to drop out" I look at this stranger deep down my heart I knew she saw her son in me and naturally the mother's pain of love couldn't allow her to comfortably travel with her son, obviously seated in a dangerous position. She had to protect her son no matter what, her son's comfort came first. I thanked her so much, the rest of our journey was peaceful. May God bless that golden heart wherever she is.

Her pain of love. One Saturday evening I am out getting some foodstuff from the market. On my way back, I meet a crowd of people outside a hospital gate surrounding a man, the man should be in his mid-thirties. The security guards were busy battling this man who was very drunk, they had already managed to tie him up using ropes. Besides the man, was a very elderly lady who was pleading with the guards to pardon the man, of a mistake I was yet to learn. Apparently, the elderly lady had come to visit a patient at the hospital accompanied by the guy whom I later came to learn was her son.

The man had left her at the hospital, went to a nearby pub, had one for the road and came back to the hospital. Unknown to him, the patients visiting hours had elapsed and the security guard at the gate could not allow him in. The man in a drunken state had resorted to throwing tantrums and hurling insults at the guard who was manning the entrance, he had gone further over powered the single guard at the gate, destroyed several window panes before other guards came to the rescue.

Back to our scene of action, the old lady's pleas went unheard, the security guards had now apprehended the man and were dragging him to the hospital premises. The elderly lady was all this while pleading for mercy on behalf of her son, she was now crying and very worried.She was now making frantic calls back home informing them of the predicament, all the while crying for help from the public, "He is my son, tell them to pardon him' "I will organize and pay for the damages" "I have called home, they are bringing money" This should be funny right? How can a lady plead for mercy on behalf of a criminal who has destroyed private property? To us, the drunk man is a criminal, to the mother she is her son whom she carried for nine mothers in her womb, several hours of labor pain later, behold she had her bundle of joy. The mother's pain of love!

Her pain of love. One day, I am traveling with a colleague for some fieldwork, deep in the interior parts of Kenya, we had woken up very early and both of us had not taken breakfast from our residents. After one hour of our journey, another left to go, the friend places a call to his mother informing her that we were to pass near their home and because we were late, we may not pass by to say hi but we could later on after our duties create time to visit the home. One hour later, the mother calls the colleague, inquiring where we were, he tells her that, we had just arrived at the main road heading to their place, to which she says "Mkona kwa gari gani, nimekaa hapa 10 minutes sijaona gari"

After few minutes we locate her, apparently, the mother had prepared and packed some tea, bread and ground nuts for us. "Nilijua hii asubuhi yote, hamukuwa mume kunywa chai, kunyweni hiyo mukienda hizo meeting zenu, lakini thermos yangu na vikombe zirudi, munajua sina thermos ingine" she said laughing. We drive off and I am telling Austine, my colleague "Niaje Mathee alijua, we hadn't had breakfast?" to which he says "Our mothers are very wise, don't mess with them"

Her pain of love. My mom. She is one lady I will forever thank heavens for bringing into my life. Since I was born, I have never seen her tears, despite the occasions when as her children we had caused her so much trouble and pain and despite the worst difficult challenges our family has had to face, he has remained a steadfast pillar holding our family together, a super hero. I have always seen her, wake up even in the mid night to pray for us. Her prayers, have kept our family alive and enabled us to overcome some battles of life. The Mother's pain of love. God richly bless her!

Despite the mother's pain of love, despite the sacrifices they make for us, how do we pay them back? when was the last time we called to check on them? To get them some "Leso?" do they even ask much from us? Do we respect them? Do we often gift them, like we do with our partners?

Or do we wait to right long tributes of how lovely and caring they were long after they are gone? Do we wait to get ourselves branded T-shirts with their images and the world - class send-off? Isn't it time we all woke up and treated our mothers right? PAY FOWARD for all the sacrifices and pain they have had to endure on our behalf? Is it not time, we also began praying for them as they age, just like they have been doing all these years?

Rewarding the Mother's pain of love

How do we get to reward her for the pain she has had to endure all these years, on our behalf? Is she even demanding for a million dollar gift? After deep soul searching, here is was I think would be the best gift for the mother's pain of love.
  • Respect and honor them, no matter the situation, never raise your voice towards.
  • Call to apologize whenever you realize that you have messed up,
  • Pay them to visit, they need company, you are still her child, she still has the mother's love with her and sometimes would just like to see you and be happy,
  • Pay her chama money once in a while, chamas, mean so much to most of our moms,
  • You have children? let them go spend time with her, she needs the company of her generation,
  • Always call to just check on her,
  • When at home, get yourself into the kitchen, light the jiko, cook for her, she' cooked all these years for us, it's time to pay forward,
  • Don't allow her to get worried, no mother deserves to live through the pain of worry yet she has children,
  • Forgive her, she wronged you? forgive and forgive,
  • Make her as very much comfortable as your means could allow,
  • Never raise your voice for her, that is the worst form of disrespect, and
  • Pray for them, nothing is important as a prayer on behalf of a mother.

Dear Lord, 

Thank you so much for bringing mothers into our lives. I ask for forgiveness, for all instances, that I have disrespected her and not taken care of her as I ought to. I am a beneficiary, of her self-sacrifice and pain of love.

As written in your holy scriptures, Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16, I want to honor her so, that I may live long and it may go well with me. As her child, I call her her blessed because she is indeed blessed, proverbs 31:28.

Lord, I pray for your blessings of health, favor, and protection upon her in Jesus name. Let her never lack, let her never be in pain anymore. Reward her with her greatest hearts desires, let her next years be her greatest and most fulfilling. 

In the name of Jesus, I pray, AMEN

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