Mind Games. Just Who Is In Charge? ~ Diaries!

My Diaries 1. Author: Bree.K

From my diaries, about Mind Games, and how the modern gal and the modern dude wanna control each other...

Let me get this right, so what’s bae? Is it an acronym that stands for ‘before anyone else’ or the shortened version for baby or babe? (according to google). This word lost meaning to me after my last encounter in a situation-ship, lol, let me just say the last encounter with a guy I shared most of my teenage memories with. (You know those stupid happy lovey lovey moments, when you are this hot high school gal, that every Tom, Dick & Harry is yearning for?) Story for another day... to be continued ...

Back to mind games and I stand to be corrected; I don’t think anyone in my generation still believes in marriage...(Can't believe I just said that) Dating has to be the sweet-bitter experience, yes we hang out, take selfies with the magic selfie-stick, post them on instagram, create love stories with them on snap chat, spend quality time on whats app with crazy whats-app statuses. Yes, the world has to know that I got him and he got me! But as time goes by, and in your imagination think you dating someone who is transparent and willing to be in a relationship with you, you come to realize that the ninja lost grip and is seeing someone else.This is where I  question the modern generation, does it believe true love? does it accept that? Later you come to realize you were in a Situation-ship and not a relationship. na umecheswa, kai Saitan!

It was never anything but fierce power struggle, the relationship of course. A common cry line for most of ladies in the modern dating scene.  The little knowledge I have on relationships tells me it should be reciprocal, more of respect, commitments and honesty but as usual they all end up as tag of war. Is this the way we want to go? Definitely No. 

Hello Men, hear this "We don’t want to be the ones who make the first call, the first text, the first move and we pretend not to care so that we don't look desperate. But we obviously want to be the first ones to break up with you. Smart move from us, don't blame us, blame the Standards. You see, I deliberately take time to answer my texts from my boyfriend or rather let me call him ‘the person am involved with’ so that I appear busy (of course we are busy ladies, busy taking selfies for you to like and admire on our social media platform). You don't want to date a lazy gal, right? You also don't want to date a desperate lady. We, as well don't want to appear desperate. So, its a win-win situation more so in the modern generation where couples wan't to outdo each other in a relationship. Unhealthy competition?  

The modern generation has given me the illusion that in all circumstances never look desperate no matter what, see for instance, the guy I willingly gave my number took a week to call me, yet he had promised to call when he got home. Was he homeless for one week? He should have called, I could have housed him, hid him in my bedroom till he found shelter. You don't take a lady's phone number and keep quiet with it. Later on I found out that he did not want to look desperate and so he  held his guts praying not to loose me as well as avoid the term ‘Teamafisi’ commonly given to guys who salivate on anything in skirt. But he asked for my number and I gave it to him, he should have called. Begs the question, was my number a scratch card? Never,mind I told him its over before it began, when he finally called. Was I harsh? You tell me..

For ladies, its simple, let him believe that you do not really care  I personally employ this tactic or rather have employed this in most of my ‘situationships’ for lack of a better term. The act of having an affair with someone from the opposite sex which is genuinely based on lies. The winner of this game is the one who lives to show the least interest (Read Mind Games). This is so that, none is considered a desperado and just in case of a break up I reserve the bragging rights. Probably that's why I had very little investment in my last relationship; money, time you can name them and it gave me a smile calling myself a champion, because according to my head or the voices in it, I walked out of that relationship with nothing to lose, but bragging rights!.

I remember asking an old friend why he had lied to me about some certain issues in our situationship and he ended up telling me ‘lying is a part of being an adult’. Okay sounds strange and dumb eh? The thought of getting married, having a memorable wedding and three fine babies always excites me and all other gals who believe in marriage, but I am not ready to be lied to, I want trust, we want trust, that is all we ask for from you.  Ask our parents’ about love and marriage and they will pause this to you “why not love your partner, with one heart? Why not trust them?” Is this even possible?

Truth be told though...Superiority and mind games are killers of relationships. 

We don’t have to show less interest just to have the power lie within us, let your partner know you care and you care more .Let’s not all get fooled by the power battles and stupid mind games because this is just a game you will never get to win, a waste of time, emotions and feelings. A total Waste. 

Psss...but men, you must take good care of us!