Listen to Them If You Have To, But Be Sober!!

A Happy Family!

"...I will do all I can to keep my family intact.." a colleague once told me .

So on this day we are out for lunch, me paying for a promise of lunch. As we discuss other issues, this topic of recent rise in cases of domestic violence and marriage break- ups, comes up. Several marriages are breaking up at a supersonic speed and the main course being one. Mpango Wa Kando (Side Chic/dude), ..

A story is told of a friend who swore never to get married again after she found out that her man, her husband a believer had been keeping a side chic for the 2 years of their marriage. That must be painful eh?! On confrontation, the man blames the chic for tempting and seducing him.. (this must be the joke of the year).

Listening to my colleague narrate the story as she curses and swears to do all she can in her powers to keep her marriage intact, I suddenly get lost in my wonder world wondering what is becoming of the institution of marriage. Just why can't a man be satisfied with that one woman he said "I do" to, just why must he keep some side chic?

We may not have answers to those questions, though in my wonder world I realized what might be happening. Look, Men must decide within themselves to say no to any Njeri, Atieno, Fatuma, Kerubo that tries to break their family, likewise to the ladies. But how do you do this?

Be Sharp if a lady keeps on laughing with you, cracking jokes with you and you entertain her, you are drawing yourself closer and closer to her, very soon you will be under her jaws and wont escape. Remember, the first time is the most difficult part, thereafter, it will be normal and before you realize it? You are breaking up your family. ~ Know your limits, know the limits of your association with such ladies and be man enough to say NO.

Be Principled let every people you interact with know you as a principled person. Carry yourself with dignity, portray the image of a straightforward individual. That way, you keep away any potential crook.

Happily introduce yourself as a married Person Let everyone know that you are married and you respect and value family. Whenever in seminars, those office meeting/conferences, make sure your image as a married man who respects family comes out. Remember, there are some devils who love it when you say you are married, because with that, they believe you are a responsible person, who also won't bother them much, and will easily fund their financial needs. Watch out!!.

Talk to your Partner, let them know. Be open to your partner, let them know that this is happening and together brainstorm on how to solve such challenges whenever they come up.

But most importantly Pray a family that prays together, stays together.

I was awaken from my slumber - wonderland by the waitress who had brought the bill, then I realized my colleague was already up ready to go, I clear the bill, as we slowly walk away, the colleague tells me something that I will never forget

"Peter, you ain't yet married, please don't be in a hurry, Just make sure you are ready, make sure the lady you are going to propose to, is the stranger you want to stay with for the rest of your life, so don't be in a hurry, take your time, pray over it.. marriage is not fun and babies, it is more complicated but with the right partner, you are ready for a beautiful life time journey"

As I walked back to my work station, I had one thing in mind, "You don't have to entertain them, if you have someone in your life, let them know from the word go that you are seeing someone, and it would be important if they respected your position." In simple terms listen to them if you have to, but be sharp!