If only I had the guts to...

Have you found her yet? Sally all grown up, very beautiful and respectful, cheerfully says as we hug each other & exchange pleasantries.  No! (Raising the back of my left hand up and pointing at the ring finger). Have you found her for me...? Remember we had a deal, or we still need to kaza maombi (Pray hard)? I jokingly say to her, quoting the exact line I always say to her whenever we talk about me and my dating life.

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It's been 8 years Pete, 8 solid years since we first had a chat over this, I love your patience bro, and my prayers are always for you to achieve your dreams, God guide you to get the right life partner who will understand your dreams and be a help mate. Sally says as we finally find a place to sit.

Flashback, 8 years ago, I walk into college in a foreign country in search of higher education, on the registration desk, I spot this beautiful lady usher, who welcomes me warmly saying I'm Sally, a Kenyan and second year Social Works & Social Administration student (SWASA), I am here to welcome you and guide you through the process of registration. Nice to meet you Sally, I am Peter, but beautiful ladies like you call me Pete, She smiles and mockingly says, Yes Pete, can I have the honor of walking you through the registration process? Your wish is my Command. You are funny Mr. Pete, "I am not a comedian though..." I reply. That's how I met Sally and we have been tight friends since then.

On this day, we decide to meet and just have a coffee chat. You see Sally is this kind of female friend whom I freely talk to, we are free and open with one another and I believe that's the reason as to why, among all friends I have ever had, she ranks top.

I will do black coffee. Black coffee for you Sally? No, get me white. We sip through our coffee, chatting and laughing about our first meeting and many more meetings thereafter. She reminds me of one particular Friday night when we had gone to watch a movie, in the university hall (Fridays were Movie nights), on this day, they were showcasing LOST, (Those of you who enjoy watching series will remember LOST). 

This was the night we really got to know each other and on this night I made a move. "Sally, I want you to know that I am beginning to develop some interest in you" To which she replies with a question.Why are you interested in me? Because I'd be a fool not to, with such a good heart and beauty, i'd honestly be a big fool not to. We were seated at the far back of the hall, both of us wrapped in Maasai regalia (I love the regalia to date), it's all dark, she holds my hand and says, "Thanks Pete, I am so honored, and would love to be your gal" Why not be my gal then? "You see I have become fond of you as my best friend, us dating will make me uncomfortable and we won't be free to share, laugh and provide each other a shoulder to lean on without evoking emotions".She won, we didn't date but were always there for each other. Later on, I came to realize that us not dating then, is one key reason we still best friends, eight years later. 

If I can't date you, we must have a deal. "What deal Pete, I am ready"  we must hatch a plan for you to help me find a perfect lady like you."WOW, am I a match maker?" "Do we have a deal or not?" Deal she whispered. Since you have given me an assignment, what type of lady do you want? A perfect soul mate I reply. Do they even exist? She asks, I believe I am speaking to one, to which she replies "You crazy" "Crazy for you, blame it on your charms" I say cheekily. 

Pete, this is interesting & I guess you win, tell me your description of a perfect soul mate then. "Someone I can connect with completely, mentally, spiritually & incredibly attractive to physically" Ghai Pete, huyo sasa tutapa wapi? (Gosh, Pete, where can we find such a lady), I believe she's hidding somewhere, we shall find her. Those were the good old times Sally and I shared  together.

8 years later, I can't believe we are seated together with Sally, sharing what we began back then, life is magical, I must say. Hey Pete, your descriptions of her still remains the same? She says, distracting me from my thoughts. Yes, I answer her, though I am slightly changing the terms to, "A perfect marriage woman." Someone I can grow up with, a help mate . Marriage is beautiful, I look forward to getting married to the right woman and having kids calling me Daddy. I want a lady who makes me a better man, every man wants such a woman in their life. I would let many beauty queens pass by, till I find that one lady who will make me feel a better man and be a good mom.

Aki, Pete you have grown, imagine we speaking about marriage? Who could have imagined a time would come the two of us would be seated here to discuss marriage, kids & family? Life is a mystery I say, but we must live each day to unravel tomorrow.

What about you Sally, any wedding bells? No, not now she says with a grin on her face, a couple break ups, were good lessons for me, I want to take time and build my career, the right guy, will walk in at the right. So, I look at her,she is very beautiful, typical modern lady, a believer, in a very beautiful Polka-dot dress, the same beautiful angel I met as an usher 8 years ago... she fits the bill well, my description of a perfect marriage woman.

Should I try showing interest in her again? Do I have the guts to? Does she still want me as a friend instead of a soul mate?*

READ: It's Over Between us - For Singles